Like a religious devotion

I’ve been wanting to write a film review these past few days, it’s only that I don’t know what film to write about. It’s not that I haven’t seen any film at all. Quite the contrary.

Based on my notes, since the start of the present year I’ve already watched 63 feature films, mostly through streaming platforms (like Mubi). That’s an average of 12 films per month. Most probably because I’m not a professional critic writing for online film journals or magazines (for example, Variety and The Guardian). I’m just a simple slave to cinema. Thus, I’m not under obligation to submit an article to anyone. That’s likely the reason why I’m not able to write any film review at all. No so-called deadline, therefore no reason to write.

I only write as leisurely as I can.

Perhaps, I can write another review by the time of QCinema International Film Festival, which is about 6 months from now. Whenever I attend a film festival, I make it a point to write something about the movies that I get to watch there. It’s one way for me to fully understand and immerse myself in the films.

Since I already mentioned QCinema, allow me to write instead about how I prepare myself for the said film festival. This is such a personal experience (though it may also resonate with my fellow cineastes). First, I need to have money. In the case of QCinema, a yearly festival, tickets are at 300 pesos. This is considerably lower than a regular movie ticket price. And certainly much, much lower than the ticket prices in film festivals abroad (like Cannes). In my opinion, 300 pesos is already a good deal, considering the high caliber of international films being shown in QCinema. Thus, a few months before the festival proper (QCinema usually takes place in November), I’m already saving up for the tickets. Oftentimes, experiencing the beauty of world cinema comes with a cost.

Now, when the full lineup is already revealed I pick the films that I’m about to watch on the strength of the director, the festival awards that they got, the story itself, the controversy (if any), and sometimes the buzz or hype surrounding them. For example, I choose RAN because it was directed by no less than Akira Kurosawa. Or Ruben Östlund’s THE SQUARE because it won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes film festival. Or Nadav Lapid’s SYNONYMS because it has an unusual and thought-provoking storyline. Or Gaspar Noé’s IRREVERSIBLE because of the notoriety that it has gained since its world premiere. It does happen of course that a particular film has all the factors that I mentioned.

And when I’ve already completed my own list of films (usually around 10 to 15), I take it upon myself to read an article or two about the films and their directors. Not necessarily a review, but a write-up about a film's background or why the director decided to make this film. In this way, I won’t have to go into a film totally “blind” regarding its raison d'être. It’s through such an approach that I learned, for instance, that Hu Bo’s monumental and moving AN ELEPHANT SITTING STILL had a turbulent production history, in large part due to Wang Xiaoshuai, one of the film’s producers and himself an arthouse filmmaker. Or that Ryusuke Hamaguchi’s mysterious EVIL DOES NOT EXIST was actually intended as one long dialogue-free musical interlude. Or that the unclassifiable MEMORIA was partly borne out of Apichatpong Weerasethakul’s own debilitating hearing condition, the same one that Tilda Swinton’s character in the film suffers.

Much-awaited as well is the festival’s screening schedule. Once it’s out (usually a week before the festival proper), the plotting begins, which can be both fun and hard. In my case, I usually plot 2-3 films per day. But lately, it’s mostly just 2 films. It’s because it gives me ample time to reflect on the films that I’ve just watched, to process them within myself, so to speak. Also, if I get to watch 3 films in a row, by the time of the third film (which is normally an early or a late evening schedule) I tend to feel sleepy already, which is simply unfair to the film itself. Most probably this comes with age. One’s cinephilia, no matter how passionately pursued, can’t be forever young.

How many days do I actually get to spend in the entire festival duration, which lasts for 10 days? I have work, but I’m fortunate enough to be able to file a 5-day paid leave. Add to this my 2 rest days, so altogether it’s 7 days spent for the festival. It even happens sometimes that I get to have a “bonus” day. The festival has become my annual mecca for long, so I’ll always find time for it.

On the day of film-watching itself, I always make sure that I’m inside the theater (it’s usually the Gateway Mall cinemas in Quezon City) 10-15 minutes before the film starts. This provides me just enough time to completely settle myself before “diving” into the film. Latecomers in a film screening, even for only 5 minutes and for whatever reason, are simply annoying and terrible. They just don’t have respect for their fellow moviegoers who arrived early and for the film itself which should be watched in full, no more and no less. I can probably tolerate those people who keep on coming in and out of the theater during screening, but latecomers never.

And of course, I always prefer to watch a film alone. I may hangout with others on a different occasion, but not when going to a movie-theater. I’m absolutely “enclosed” when watching a film. Distractions from someone’s needless chatter (why talk while watching, in the first place?) are a big turn-off. For 2 hours or so, I completely surrender myself to the singularly cinematic world unfolding on the big screen right before my eyes, in a dark and cold theater. Experiencing a film in a movie-theater is both a sacred and euphoric moment for me.

That’s why what Jessica Kiang (of Variety) wrote about RESURRECTION, Chinese filmmaker Bi Gan's latest arthouse puzzle, resonates profoundly: “There is something inexpressibly beautiful about the sensorial illusion of cinema, and something inexpressibly noble about seeking refuge within it, even if that means removing yourself from reality where things, presumably, get done rather than just dreamt.” From what I can gather from the entire review, it looks like the film is Bi Gan’s spellbinding tribute to hundred years of cinema. Such is the wonder and magic of the 7th art.

Attending a film festival is like a religious devotion for me. There’s something noble, profound and deeply satisfying in performing all the rituals and procedures involved to obtain cinematic wisdom and pleasure. Engaging in an affair with cinema involves an unwavering faith in the power of storytelling by way of moving images. Through all these decades that I’ve been passionately pursuing cinema, I’ve long reached a point where watching a film is not merely a pastime activity, but more importantly a lived experience as well.

Death of cinema is a sham. Generations may come and go, but cinema will always be “resurrected” in one way or another, embodying a multitude of content and form.